The Meaning of Marriage...

With much of our media focused lately on the Royal wedding, I thought this would be a good time to reflect on the meaning of marriage. The definition of this word has changed over time; it has a long history. The meaning of marriage also varies from culture to culture. Many centuries ago, marriage was influenced by money and politics, not love. A hundred years ago dating became popular and couples were able to court each other. Love now plays an integral role in marriage. In the 1950’s, the nuclear family and marriage took over the culture. A study at the time showed that 4 out of 5 people thought that choosing to be single was immoral. Women started entering the workforce in the 70’s and now work outside of the home. The current Webster dictionary definition of marriage is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law; the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.” We as a society are currently changing the definition of marriage to include same-sex marriage.

One report that came out of the Royal wedding was that Kate Middleton chose to not include the word ‘obey’ in her wedding vows, as is the tradition. She made a choice to redefine what marriage is for herself with her now husband. I think what we can take from this is that it is important for each couple to create their own definition of marriage and what it means to them. Make your own specific definition with your partner; it is important to have a shared definition. You and your partner have the ability to create the rules and boundaries that keep your relationship strong. This can be anything from what you choose to say in your vows to how you divide up household tasks and responsibilities. It is essential that both partners agree with the definition to ensure long-term satisfaction in the relationship. Having this shared meaning and open communication will strengthen your relationship and the intimacy with your partner. Questions you can ask yourself and your partner are: how do you choose to define your relationship? What works for you and your partner? These questions will help shape your definition.